Post something Funny
04-03-2009, 08:47 PM
#46
Whats green and smells like pork?
04-03-2009, 08:54 PM
#47
A married couple went to the hospital early one morning to have
their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an
amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's
labour pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it out.
Both said they were very much in favour of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer to 10 percent for starters,
explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever
experienced. But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and
asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.
The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer.
The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor then checked the
husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.
At this point, they decided to try for 50 percent. The husband
continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping the
wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the
pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain, and the
husband had experienced none. She and he were ecstatic, and she was able
to leave the hospital within a few hours.
When they got home, they found the milkman dead on the steps to the
front door.
their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an
amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's
labour pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it out.
Both said they were very much in favour of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer to 10 percent for starters,
explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever
experienced. But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and
asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.
The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer.
The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor then checked the
husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.
At this point, they decided to try for 50 percent. The husband
continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping the
wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the
pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain, and the
husband had experienced none. She and he were ecstatic, and she was able
to leave the hospital within a few hours.
When they got home, they found the milkman dead on the steps to the
front door.
04-03-2009, 08:59 PM
#48
The Devil
A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the back entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.
So Satan walked up to the man and said, 'Do you know who I am?'
The man replied, 'Yep, sure do.'
'Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked.
'Nope, sure ain't.' said the man.
Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?' asked Satan.
'Don't doubt it for a minute, ' returned the old man, in an even tone.
'Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying agony for all eternity?' persisted Satan.
'Yep,' was the calm reply.
'And you're still not afraid?' asked Satan.
'Nope,' said the old man.
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, ' Why aren't you afraid of me?'
The man calmly replied, 'Been married to your sister for 48 years.'
A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the back entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.
So Satan walked up to the man and said, 'Do you know who I am?'
The man replied, 'Yep, sure do.'
'Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked.
'Nope, sure ain't.' said the man.
Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?' asked Satan.
'Don't doubt it for a minute, ' returned the old man, in an even tone.
'Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying agony for all eternity?' persisted Satan.
'Yep,' was the calm reply.
'And you're still not afraid?' asked Satan.
'Nope,' said the old man.
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, ' Why aren't you afraid of me?'
The man calmly replied, 'Been married to your sister for 48 years.'
04-03-2009, 10:58 PM
#49
Tech Fanatic
Thread Starter
04-03-2009, 11:06 PM
#50
Tech Fanatic
Thread Starter
I'm ok with fast food.
04-04-2009, 06:45 AM
#51
04-04-2009, 12:36 PM
#52
04-04-2009, 03:40 PM
#53
04-06-2009, 06:29 PM
#55
werd
04-06-2009, 10:34 PM
#56
Why do mexicans only cross the border in groups of twos or fours but never three?
04-07-2009, 09:46 AM
#58
me neither
