My Nomadio Sensor has just about all those features. It also can be connected to the computer to adjust all settings and model memory functions. It has a speaker and a vibration motor (you can custom map vibration sequences and upload custom sounds to alert you to different events) and it also has a headphone jack (WTF?)

Like you I barely use anything besides EPA, trim, and the multiple model memories. I am interested in playing around with the ABS function though, that I could see being beneficial once you figure out how to tune it.