Need to read some of this, will help with basics -
http://www.rctech.net/forum/radio-el...ef-lesson.html
Don't buy lead free, its harder to work with and needs higher temps than lead solder. The 60/40 rosin core is what you want to buy. There are diff kinds of flux - I'll let the marine explain that in the linked thread.
No - apply heat to the soldered connection and pull it off when you see solder melt. Otherwise, you'll damage the motor solder tabs.