You charge thru the deans connector - it will not balance without the white plug connected to the side of the charger. You may get a warning that balance connector is not connected, but it should let you charge. My hyperion s setup that way, you can charge without balancing, but charger warns you about it.

You need to understand why you're not able to connect balance tap without getting that warning. Are you sure its the right tap? Venom uses the JST type balance connection (also called Align type tap). You can have similar balance tap on your lipo and plug in, but still not be right.

BTW reading both your notes, it takes both sets of wires connected to charge and balance a lipo. When it works right, you charge and balance at the same time using both sets of wires - charging thru the set with deans and balancing thru wires with the white plug.