i had time to take it apart again this afternoon. i gave a close inspection to the parts and the female part of the driveshaft connection is out of true. (the center diff outdrive). when i spin the diff sitting in place in the chasis i can see the outdrive wobble a bit which causes the spur gear to wobble as well. i set the mesh to as tight as possible on the tightest part of the spur and let it be a bit loose on theother parts. to my surprise the spur was not stripped, the motor must have been in the mount poorly and the reverse to forward direction change must have popped it slightly loose. i also noticed my diff cover was not well seated so that would have gave it some potential play. i put it all back togather and just tested it for 5 min in the basement and it seems to be working pretty well despite the drivetrain wobble.