The one thing I didnt see posted in this thread (didnt read every page, but did read the whole first post) which I feel is the most important part is:
PATIENCE!!!!!
I have seen so many times people perform one good joint and then everything goes to crap. You have to let the Soldering iron heat up again for a few seconds after soldering a joint. I have a $15 Radio shack 60 watt iron that I keep in my pit bag, Had it forever. It works fine, I just need to make sure I let it heat up thoroughly between joints.
I used to have a roll of 61/36/3 solder that needed a touch more heat than 67/33, but the joints were always super shiny. I need to find some more of that stuff.