What would resistors in parallel look like? Do you mean just a resistor between a 5v and ground wire and then the other resistor between a different 5v wire and ground wire?
I'll experiment a lot.
What I don't get is more ohms = more resistance but less ohms = more heat?
And what this guy says basically means less ohms = more resistance right?
Ok, well thanks for the info guys. I went out and got 2 x 1ohm resistors and put them in series for 2 ohms total resistance. Since Current, I, is equal to Voltage divided by Resistance, I know I was pulling about 2.5 amps through. Since Power equals Current times Voltage, I also know that it equates to 12.5 watts, which is almost 1/10 of what the PSU's maximum power rating is. And 12.5 watts of heat is a lot. Low power soldering irons are about double that. It got burn-you hot within minutes, even with a sink on there. So I did some checking around and re-read that article linked, and it turns out that a single 10 ohm resistor will easily suffice. That equates to half an amp of current, and 2.5 watts. MUCH better. Half an amp is the absolute minimum to keep the PSU happy, and now I CAN hotplug my chargers without it shutting off. Further, the maximum temperature the case of the PSU got up to was only 100*F (room temp = 70*F roughly).