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How to Nicely Tell Someone to Stop Preaching to You?

How to Nicely Tell Someone to Stop Preaching to You?

Old 05-14-2013, 03:39 PM
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Default How to Nicely Tell Someone to Stop Preaching to You?

Greetings all,

I have a question or a little dilemma I am looking for guidance on and I think you guys are just the ones to possibly help. Let me quickly explain. While I do not attend Church regularly or am very involved in religious activities, I do consider myself a believer and a Christian to some extent. When I was younger I attended several Bible summer camps and schools and during that time I had gotten to know God and opened my heart to Jesus. It is generally by his lessons and morals which drive my decisions and actions in life. So although I am not involved in religion, personally I have my own private relationship with God.

So to the root of the problem. I have a neighbor who is a very sweet little old lady. She has had some very rough times in her life and has been very open with others in the neighborhood about her trials and tribulations. Her husband died from cancer about 6-7 years ago and just last year her son passed away from cancer also. Since her son's passing, she has been increasingly asking others in the neighborhood to attend her Church's events, and most recently tried to organize a neighborhood Bible study at her house once a week. Last Christmas, she distributed a letter to the neighbors which basically focused on the hardships in her life, and how her religious beliefs helped her overcome. However it then also got a little preachy and said something to the affect that even though we may think we are living our lives for God, unless we are attending Church every week and talking with others, we are probably being deceived by evil and are trapped under Satan's veil of deception. It was a little awkward for a Christmas card.

Now recently for some reason, she has been aggressively targeting my wife and I to attend her Bible study and watch a movie titled The Truth Project. Partly I think because she knows we generally do not attend Church (my wife's family is Catholic and she attended Church regularly when she was younger), and also my mother just recently had a small battle with cancer which she was able to overcome. We respectfully declined as we currently have a very busy schedules, and just the fact that we are not really interested at this time. She is not letting up though, and has sent me several emails asking when we can schedule to meet with her to discuss God, and that God has a special message for me which he can only deliver through her, the messenger, and that it is very important that I make this connection. Today was another email, telling me it is in God's eternal plan that I make a personal relationship with him, that I am the spiritual leader of my family and it is my responsibility to help them. She keeps asking when my wife, my mother, and I will come over to her house and watch The Truth Project.

Each time I speak with her I respectfully decline but she then always is coming back with an email or whenever I run into her in the neighborhood and keeps pushing. She speaks to me like I am some sort of heathen and that I am in desperate need of being saved by her. I am beginning to take offense to it. My approach now is to respond to her latest email and just be blunt, but nice. I am going to tell her that despite what she thinks and has said, I have opened my heart to Jesus, I am a believer, and am confident there is a place in Heaven for me when my time here is done. And that even though I am a believer, I prefer to keep my relationship with God as something I keep private, just between me and Him.

What else could I do to make it clear to her that we are not interested without being so blunt that she becomes offended, or even more driven to "save" us?
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Old 05-14-2013, 07:16 PM
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Here is what I'm getting from your post.

She has lost almost everyone important to her, she is looking to fill that void. She is lonely, until that void is filled she will be looking everywhere. But mostly close to home.
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Old 05-14-2013, 10:09 PM
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Ferenczy36: sent you a pm. check your box
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Old 05-15-2013, 12:04 PM
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Originally Posted by tmail55 View Post
Here is what I'm getting from your post.

She has lost almost everyone important to her, she is looking to fill that void. She is lonely, until that void is filled she will be looking everywhere. But mostly close to home.
Yes, She has definitely had a hard time, and is looking to fill the voids in her life. She is very active with her Church and associated activities which we have participated in previously (their annual crab feed fundraiser). She does have lots of support and friends in our neighborhood. However, of those of us who are her immediate neighbors, we seem to be the one's she has chosen to focus on. I think part of it is that one day she came by and was asking my wife about our religion. My wife told her that she grew up in a Catholic family and attended church regularly, and that my family growing up did not attend Church regularly. I think she somehow took that as that I have never opened the door to invite God/Jesus into my life, which I have. Like I said, its like she thinks I am a non-believer, even though I have told her that we prayed for my mom, etc.

This is why this is such a sensitive issue. We really do feel for her tragedies which she has endured and understand she is lonely. We always want to be there for her, we just feel she is a little pushy on the whole religion thing. Last Easter, even though we told her we were going to my wife's parents Church, she invited us to come to her Church instead for service and made comments like God will be so pleased to see that we have chosen to join her for our Sunday service. It's almost as if she implies that we cannot be saved unless we attend her Church and listen to her message. That even though we may think we are living by God's word, we may have been fooled or corrupted by satan and his tricks.

Thank you for your input.
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Old 05-21-2013, 09:56 PM
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Be a man!
Tell her to STFU or kindly tell her you're not digging it in a nice way.
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Old 05-21-2013, 10:36 PM
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Buy her a dog or a cat to talk to LOL . But yes she is a lonley old lady and needs to feel needed . Maybe she should find a friend at church to find a common bond with .
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Old 05-23-2013, 10:22 PM
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Tell her to STOP
block her Emails also block her post thru PO..
If you find her that offencive takeout a restraining order..
or shave your head and get a yellow rob with a small flower and walk the streets chanting--might work LOL..sorry man.. just be kind and direct find a bible verse to use against her tactics that always works
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Old 05-24-2013, 02:55 AM
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While I can understand , to a degree , what the lady is doing , I feel she is going about it the wrong way ( as we do sometimes ).

I think you need to have a conversation with her , thanking her for her concern for you but you need to explain that what she is doing is having the opposite effect. In fact it is hurting you.

If she doesn't listen you may need then to consider the blocking and restraint. The best approach for this lady is to pray for you and just be a friendly neighbour.
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Old 05-25-2013, 10:24 PM
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@ the OP, if you feel you need to be so nice as to not offend her then you need to deal with her persistence. I'm not overly religious but I respect the beliefs of others. I also expect you to respect my personal choices and not push your beliefs on me or my family. I would respect you in our first conversation but make my feelings clear. If you brought up a second conversation about it I doubt my comments would want you to have a third.

I respect you and your beliefs but I am also blunt about you respecting my desire for you to simply leave me alone as well.

just sayin'
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Old 07-24-2013, 12:43 AM
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Last edited by tmail55; 07-24-2013 at 04:09 AM.
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