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Introvert in an Extroverted world.

Introvert in an Extroverted world.

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Old 03-19-2012, 10:41 AM
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Default Introvert in an Extroverted world.

I'm not sure exactly why I'm posting this, just felt compelled to do so. I'm an introvert, and while I find it easy to talk to others online or through emails and texts, I find it quite difficult to relate and talk to people outside of this medium.
I'm dating an extrovert for sometime and find that its been hard to give her what she needs as far as communicating goes, I try through our texts and emails but I fear this only frustrates her a great deal she needs to talk and discuss things openly to process them where as an introvert I run everything through my head over and over to process, and I don't want that. I've prayed about it regularly and maybe that's why I felt compelled to post. I care about her greatly and would like to spend the rest of my life with her, but I can't stand the thought that my lack of being able to fully communicate with her is making her miserable. I want to change this about myself not just for her by myself as well. I'm just not sure how to change or even if I can at this point.
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Old 03-19-2012, 04:56 PM
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introvert <<< WOW!!!

You could be a minister and the future leader of THR!

I'm a introvert out of the pulpit, a extrovert in the pulpit.
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Old 03-19-2012, 08:50 PM
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Can you guys meet in the middle somewhere? I'm pretty quiet in all situations until someone gives me the chance to talk, then I can't shut up. Your relationship will take work to find a common ground where you can both communicate comfortably. If you tell her how you feel, she will appreciate it more than you will ever know. I'd put money on that!
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Old 03-19-2012, 09:13 PM
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Thanks handi thats what I'm trying to do

tmail55 that sir is awesome! if either of you are familiar with the MBT personality types I'm an INFJ.

tmail how do you manage to over come the anxiety when around large groups? for me sometimes it gets so bad I can and have had major anxiety attacks where I start to feel like I'm about to suffocate, all I can do when that happens is get out as fast a I can.
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Old 03-20-2012, 04:56 AM
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I focus on one or two people at a time.
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Old 03-20-2012, 11:50 AM
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Thanks it's something I've been trying to work through. Definitely a challenge!
I've been thinking about posting something on our community board at church to see if there might be any that are into RC try and get something going, maybe even work with the youth groups too.

Going out with may girl tonight hope it goes well
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Old 03-20-2012, 12:49 PM
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Hi helio, at first when I started to speak in front of people I was terrified with all their eyes focused upon me and being leary if I am saying all the right things in the right order according to my notes. My first lecture in front of the congregation was, shall I say "challenging." I spoke with some of my pastor friends afterwards and they reassured me that they cannot hurt you. This might be out of character but I learned to imagine the entire audience sitting in their underwear;what harm could they possibly do? This might help; If you don't already, pray that the Lord gives you the strength, courage, and wisdom you need. And remember, not everyone has the gift to speak in front of people. Some are called as teachers, some as preachers, evalngelists, etc and some have the gift of helps. There is not one gift that's less than others esp since we are all members of the body of Christ.
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Old 03-20-2012, 01:13 PM
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Thanks bowl806, words of encouragement help a great deal!
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Old 03-20-2012, 05:56 PM
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"gift of helps"

This is where I started (worked for four years as the director of the audio/video department) and thought that was where I belonged, UNTIL!

One day as I was showering after a days work. I heard a strong male voice say "I opened a door". I yanked the shower door open looking for who was in the bath room with me! After I was sure I was alone I went back to washing, then that same male voice said "I opened a door". I yelled for my wife!!!!

I had been asking for a open door to share Jesus in my prayer time. Two days before the male voice in the shower, a nursing home minister shared about that ministry during a Weds night service. By the next Weds night I was a nursing home minister, a year later I was ordained.

NOT saying I heard the voice of God, just a strong male voice.

===

Just one of the ways God changes a introvert in to extrovert!!!!
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Old 03-22-2012, 08:50 AM
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That sounds like it was an amazing experience for you! Thank you for shareing
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Old 07-22-2012, 10:34 AM
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Are you both believers? Praying together would be a great start. Sorry if that sounds too obvious, just a thought... God Bless!
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Old 08-04-2012, 07:34 PM
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Originally Posted by heilo08 View Post
I'm not sure exactly why I'm posting this, just felt compelled to do so. I'm an introvert, and while I find it easy to talk to others online or through emails and texts, I find it quite difficult to relate and talk to people outside of this medium.
I'm dating an extrovert for sometime and find that its been hard to give her what she needs as far as communicating goes, I try through our texts and emails but I fear this only frustrates her a great deal she needs to talk and discuss things openly to process them where as an introvert I run everything through my head over and over to process, and I don't want that. I've prayed about it regularly and maybe that's why I felt compelled to post. I care about her greatly and would like to spend the rest of my life with her, but I can't stand the thought that my lack of being able to fully communicate with her is making her miserable. I want to change this about myself not just for her by myself as well. I'm just not sure how to change or even if I can at this point.
Whoa...I think I just found my twin.

While I am not quite as introverted as I used to be, it is still a predominant part of my personality.

Several years ago I read an article about introverts and the psychology behind it. Long story short, we're so wrapped up in what others think of us that we are too afraid to be outgoing. It sounds like a mean thing to say, but if you think about it a bit, it makes sense. I bet you hate crowds too.

In most ways I don't care about what people think of me. I'll dress the way I like to dress, look the way I want to look, live where I want to live, drive what I like to drive, and if you don't like it you can go pound sand. But when it comes to talking to people...especially people I don't know...and in someplace that I am unfamiliar with or uncomfortable in...I might as well be a mute. Sometimes I won't even look them in the eye or acknowledge their presence. That makes me come off as an a-hole, which is ironic because there is that ever present part of me that is being self-conscious.

What to do...easier said than done. Main thing: don't be afraid. Look people in the eye when you talk to them. I don't care how bad you're screaming on the inside or how much you want to jump out of your skin, do it. It gets easier to do each time. If this is unusually difficult, get some nice dark or reflective sunglasses. I know its dumb, but knowing that people can't see my eyeballs makes things easier.

If you do lock eyes with someone, say hi. Nobody ever got beat up for saying hi. Well, maybe a few people have...relatively few anyway. Nothing to be scared of there, easy to say, hard to screw up.

After that, just push yourself into those social situations that make you uncomfortable. You'll build a tolerance.

Concerning your girl: if she's marriage worthy then she will understand and accept you the way you are. Ask her to help. My wife is the same way, in fact, we are polar opposites in most respects. She can talk and talk and talk, and when its my turn to speak I'm still working out what I want to say in my head. Unless for some reason I've reached my boiling point, then I don't care, I'll say whatever comes to mind...wrong or right. We've been together for nearly 2 decades now.
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Old 08-11-2012, 10:41 AM
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"I'm a introvert out of the pulpit, a extrovert in the pulpit"

Trying to make the move to fill in race announcer!!!! Last time I had a mic in my hand I was doing a Sunday service, which isn't a sec by sec commentary!!!
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Old 08-13-2012, 05:40 PM
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Welcome Duuuude. I hope you like it here as much as me! You remind me of another old poster new2crawling and he was a good dude. Any way if you need anything let me know brother!


Originally Posted by duuuuuuuude View Post
Whoa...I think I just found my twin.

While I am not quite as introverted as I used to be, it is still a predominant part of my personality.

Several years ago I read an article about introverts and the psychology behind it. Long story short, we're so wrapped up in what others think of us that we are too afraid to be outgoing. It sounds like a mean thing to say, but if you think about it a bit, it makes sense. I bet you hate crowds too.

In most ways I don't care about what people think of me. I'll dress the way I like to dress, look the way I want to look, live where I want to live, drive what I like to drive, and if you don't like it you can go pound sand. But when it comes to talking to people...especially people I don't know...and in someplace that I am unfamiliar with or uncomfortable in...I might as well be a mute. Sometimes I won't even look them in the eye or acknowledge their presence. That makes me come off as an a-hole, which is ironic because there is that ever present part of me that is being self-conscious.

What to do...easier said than done. Main thing: don't be afraid. Look people in the eye when you talk to them. I don't care how bad you're screaming on the inside or how much you want to jump out of your skin, do it. It gets easier to do each time. If this is unusually difficult, get some nice dark or reflective sunglasses. I know its dumb, but knowing that people can't see my eyeballs makes things easier.

If you do lock eyes with someone, say hi. Nobody ever got beat up for saying hi. Well, maybe a few people have...relatively few anyway. Nothing to be scared of there, easy to say, hard to screw up.

After that, just push yourself into those social situations that make you uncomfortable. You'll build a tolerance.

Concerning your girl: if she's marriage worthy then she will understand and accept you the way you are. Ask her to help. My wife is the same way, in fact, we are polar opposites in most respects. She can talk and talk and talk, and when its my turn to speak I'm still working out what I want to say in my head. Unless for some reason I've reached my boiling point, then I don't care, I'll say whatever comes to mind...wrong or right. We've been together for nearly 2 decades now.
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