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How the fight started....

How the fight started....

Old 03-11-2009, 11:57 AM
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One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started...

=============================


My wife walked into the den & asked "What's on the TV?"

I replied "Dust".

And that's how the fight started...

==========================

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment"


The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And that's how the fight started...

==============================


My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.

I bought her a scale.

And that's how the fight started...

===============================

I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary? '

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.

So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'

And that's when the fight started...

============================

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'

So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'

And that's when the fight started...

===========================

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And that's when the fight started...

===============================

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'

He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

Nah, she can order for herself.'

And that's when the fight started...
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Old 03-12-2009, 05:33 PM
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OMFG Cant stop laughing!
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Old 03-12-2009, 06:15 PM
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The last one is the best one ROTFLMFAO
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Old 03-13-2009, 03:56 PM
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ROFLMAO!!!!!!

Printed.
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Old 03-13-2009, 05:09 PM
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Army, my wife says you are an EVIL person
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Old 03-13-2009, 06:02 PM
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Originally Posted by CaptCrunch View Post
Army, my wife says you are an EVIL person
Really.....
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Old 03-13-2009, 06:08 PM
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So how many of these jokes are based on real life experiences?
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Old 03-13-2009, 06:11 PM
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Originally Posted by SpraydbySprague View Post
So how many of these jokes are based on real life experiences?
HEY

Well I can say I have used the dust one and the kitchen one. All in good humor.
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Old 03-13-2009, 06:13 PM
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I was laughing so hard I got hiccups!
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Old 03-13-2009, 06:16 PM
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Originally Posted by SpraydbySprague View Post
I was laughing so hard I got hiccups!
LOL
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Old 03-13-2009, 07:01 PM
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LMAO!
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Old 03-13-2009, 11:43 PM
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A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment"


The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And that's how the fight started...



f-ing priceless
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Old 03-14-2009, 03:37 AM
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They are great mate. got any more they are hilarious.
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Old 03-14-2009, 08:57 AM
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LOL!
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Old 03-14-2009, 04:58 PM
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The mad cow one is great!
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