Darkseid.....Glad to hear that you finally got he pulley fences to stay on....did you have to weld them on
Anyway I have always run my car wth the sway bars so I cant help you there. I have been running the outside hole on the lower arm for a while now. I feel it lets you run a softer spring and still retain the responsiveness that the stiffer springs offer, but with the added ease of driving with softer springs. The #1 hole on the steering hub will make the car react faster off center but may reduce you over all amount of steering throw.
And for the Diffs I can get mine just as good as a TC3 or XXXS any time. I dont think I do anything special other then lightly sand and polish the rings with Mothers. I use Associated diff lubes, Black on the thrust assembly and Stealth lube on the balls and rings. Most times when the diff feels grainy its the thrust assembly that is the problem and it needs to be replaced. I never replace the diff balls as they are carbide and thats a lot harder then the crome steel they use to make the rings out of. I have had my car from last November and have yet to replace the diff balls. So I only replace my rings when they get too thin or too badly groved. Also I feel the diffs work better when they are a little grainy IMHO.