r/c wives
05-04-2003, 07:56 PM
#1
r/c wives
I am saved and I have liked r/c since the 80's. My wife does not seem to understand the peace that I receive from running my cars.I take care of the bills,spend time with her,and take care of my children.I show interest in her activities, but she sees this as toys and games/playing.You guys know that there are not many clean outlets for us to enjoy that is this much fun.I do not want to feel convicted every time I go to the hobby store, even just to look. When we were courting I showed her my car and ran it. Just got a T-Maxx and still hearing it on that.She got what she wanted and i got what I wanted.She kinda makes me feel immature for the hobby that I have grown in since I was 11 years old ( now I am 27). I have lifted this up in prayer and i expect a testimony. Any one else out there going through/gone through this? After all, I got my pastor into it and he has an HPI rs4 and a Super Hawaii electric boat.I want to start an auxiliary at the ministry to bless the youths by r/c. Appreciate the prayers.
P.S.
I may spend 700 or less(usually less)
a year on r/c
P.S.
I may spend 700 or less(usually less)
a year on r/c
05-05-2003, 06:45 AM
#2
Peace! I understand your sentiment. I would invite my wife to race with us, and get her a car, but she doesn't have the hand eye co-ordination that is required. I think that husbands and wives need to have some hobbies, some outlet where we can be ourselves. I think that you will get a larger measure of grace from her, if it does become part of a ministry of your local church. Especially if it is being used to reach out to the community for the sake of the Gospel. I am probably coming close to a 700 dollar a year average. I don't smoke or drink, so whatever money could have been spent there, can be put into RC. My wife's dad did smoke and drink, so RC is looking pretty clean.
I have a son who is mad into cars, and my wife totally expects that when he gets old enough, that it is going to be something that he and I do together.
The biggest money saver that I know is to start your own club. If you can get together with other racers that want to agree to keep the costs down, maybe have a spec tire or stock class, you can keep your prices down.
I plan to be starting a new club in a new town that does not have RC racers. I may buy myself some trick 4 wheel touring car again, but at first I think that I will put my electronics (rx, esc, MVP stock motor) in some cheap FWD tamiya off of e-bay until I can build up a level of competition that requires that I step up. I have the skills from years of racing already. I want people to come and race and enjoy, cutting back will help so that, rather than slaughtering the Newbies with a 500 dollar touring car.
We married guys can all work on our relationships with our wives. There is a book out, that I know that you get get at Amazon called "Do yourself a favor, love your wife." It is a good book to get. Even if you don't get the book, make the title a motto or slogan for your marriage.
Spend quality time talking with her
Take her out to a couple of nice restaurants
Talk about your future goals together (That is HUGE!)
Cmotif <
P.S. Hahaha! I just read your post and my post to my wife. She responded, "Don't only talk to your wife about your RC cars or she will say, "Go spend time with your stupid little friends!"
I know that you are talking to your wife about more things than that. That would be a sad marriage if the husband only spoke Traxxas, Associated and Losi.
I have a son who is mad into cars, and my wife totally expects that when he gets old enough, that it is going to be something that he and I do together.
The biggest money saver that I know is to start your own club. If you can get together with other racers that want to agree to keep the costs down, maybe have a spec tire or stock class, you can keep your prices down.
I plan to be starting a new club in a new town that does not have RC racers. I may buy myself some trick 4 wheel touring car again, but at first I think that I will put my electronics (rx, esc, MVP stock motor) in some cheap FWD tamiya off of e-bay until I can build up a level of competition that requires that I step up. I have the skills from years of racing already. I want people to come and race and enjoy, cutting back will help so that, rather than slaughtering the Newbies with a 500 dollar touring car.
We married guys can all work on our relationships with our wives. There is a book out, that I know that you get get at Amazon called "Do yourself a favor, love your wife." It is a good book to get. Even if you don't get the book, make the title a motto or slogan for your marriage.
Spend quality time talking with her
Take her out to a couple of nice restaurants
Talk about your future goals together (That is HUGE!)
Cmotif <
P.S. Hahaha! I just read your post and my post to my wife. She responded, "Don't only talk to your wife about your RC cars or she will say, "Go spend time with your stupid little friends!"
I know that you are talking to your wife about more things than that. That would be a sad marriage if the husband only spoke Traxxas, Associated and Losi.
Last edited by Cmotif; 05-05-2003 at 09:42 AM.
05-05-2003, 10:44 PM
#3
Tech Regular
As long as you are taking care of the family needs, including time spent with them, there is no reason for you to feel convicted about running your r/c cars, or for your wife to make you feel immature for running them. Usually, you will find that if she has issues with something as innane as r/c, it's about something she is experiencing or feeling, not something you are doing. One of the things that is hardest for couples to find for each other is mutual respect for the things the other neither enjoys or understands. It's simple respect and courtesy we are called to show our spouses. It seems to me some sitting down and talking it through is in order. You need to help her understand that even though she doesn't understand your hobby, she needs to respect it, just as you have to understand the things she does to meet her free time needs. I see posts like this from time to time and it seems to me a lot of couples don't connect enough to understand each other. I am lucky in this area, in that my wife understands I enjoy it even though she can't for the life of her comprehend why. I don't understand her need to move around our furniture and decorations frequently, but it pleases her visually and makes her happy so it makes me happy.
Talk it out with her.
Talk it out with her.
09-27-2006, 01:49 PM
#5
My wife and I are marriage counselors for our church and are very blessed to have a great relationship. One of the biggest things we've noticed in our counseling is a lack of knowledge on God's will for marriage. And especially for us husbands, an understanding on how to love our wife according to His will. In summary, if you love your wife fully and give of yourself wholeheartedly, we will be blessed back by her and the Lord. (There is a wonderful "snowball effect" with this.)
So how do we do know how to love her completely as God intended?
First, you need to understand God's design for marriage. Start off by reading Genesis 1: 24-31 and Genesis 2: 18-25. This will show you the reason that man and woman were created, and His design for the marriage covenant.
Secondly, read Ephesians 5:15-33. In here, we are shown the roles of the husband and wife. There is a lot to learn from the scriptures, but to pull out the some of the biggest points:
At first, we read this and think, "Ha! I've got it easy, I just have to love her, and she has to submit to me. I'm king of the castle". In reality our role as husbands is deeper than that. We are told to "love her just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her." How much did Jesus love the church? Maximum. He is not only the ultimate servant, but He gave everything, even to the cross for us! So you see, as husbands, we need to love her unconditionally. To do whatever it takes to make her day better.
Thirdly, learn more about Jesus, which means reading the entire Bible and simply learning more. The more you know about Jesus, and how he served and loved, the better we can love our wife the same way.
We won’t get into the details, but the scriptures also show us many examples of:
• Jesus teaching the people (sometimes very late and long)
• He ministered to the needy
• fed the people
• cared for the children
• healed the sick
• healed the wounded
• raised the dead
• calmed the weather
• rebuked those who needed to be rebuked
• took the punishment for our sins
• died on the cross for us
• rose again on the 3rd day
• still serving us today (answering prayers, ministering, etc)
• preparing a place for us.
Of course, there is no way to teach everything about God's design for marriage in one post, but the major point of this post is to show you how to love your wife as God intended. She will see the genuine love and become closer to you. One of the side effects is, she will want to love you more and to know more about you and your interests (including RC). There are communication skills that can be learned, but the above information makes everything a lot easier.
Also remember that RC is very technical, plus there are physics involved, and even math. There is a lot to learn, and generally speaking, women don't enjoy those areas as much as men.
So before we get bummed out, that our wife (our best friend, our help mate) doesn't really care about our hobby... read the above scriptures, stop thinking about yourself, and bless her socks off. Love her silly!
Don't give up. It's not the easiest thing to do, but it's worth it in the end. Although my wife does not have the "passion" I have for RC, she wants to hear about how the race night went, and even stops in on race night occasionally and brings some donut holes for the racers.
"Snowball effect".
From calling them "toys" to bringing you donuts on race night.
So how do we do know how to love her completely as God intended?
First, you need to understand God's design for marriage. Start off by reading Genesis 1: 24-31 and Genesis 2: 18-25. This will show you the reason that man and woman were created, and His design for the marriage covenant.
Secondly, read Ephesians 5:15-33. In here, we are shown the roles of the husband and wife. There is a lot to learn from the scriptures, but to pull out the some of the biggest points:
Originally Posted by Ephesians 5:22-33
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Thirdly, learn more about Jesus, which means reading the entire Bible and simply learning more. The more you know about Jesus, and how he served and loved, the better we can love our wife the same way.
We won’t get into the details, but the scriptures also show us many examples of:
• Jesus teaching the people (sometimes very late and long)
• He ministered to the needy
• fed the people
• cared for the children
• healed the sick
• healed the wounded
• raised the dead
• calmed the weather
• rebuked those who needed to be rebuked
• took the punishment for our sins
• died on the cross for us
• rose again on the 3rd day
• still serving us today (answering prayers, ministering, etc)
• preparing a place for us.
Of course, there is no way to teach everything about God's design for marriage in one post, but the major point of this post is to show you how to love your wife as God intended. She will see the genuine love and become closer to you. One of the side effects is, she will want to love you more and to know more about you and your interests (including RC). There are communication skills that can be learned, but the above information makes everything a lot easier.
Also remember that RC is very technical, plus there are physics involved, and even math. There is a lot to learn, and generally speaking, women don't enjoy those areas as much as men.
So before we get bummed out, that our wife (our best friend, our help mate) doesn't really care about our hobby... read the above scriptures, stop thinking about yourself, and bless her socks off. Love her silly!
Don't give up. It's not the easiest thing to do, but it's worth it in the end. Although my wife does not have the "passion" I have for RC, she wants to hear about how the race night went, and even stops in on race night occasionally and brings some donut holes for the racers.
"Snowball effect".
From calling them "toys" to bringing you donuts on race night.
Last edited by James35; 10-23-2006 at 11:22 AM.
09-27-2006, 07:48 PM
#6
I am no expert, the LORD knows I fail daily at what HE asks of me, but He knows my heart.
Now I have to kind of get into my life a little to help you understand.
Please don't consider me a pig for what I am about to say..
Women are sensitive and take everything we say and do personally. At least from my life..
I was raised by a Gram ma, Mom and two older sisters since I was 11 (divorce)
But I learned that what we as men communicate can be less important than how. If you are trying to convey a message to your wife that you like something and no matter if she agrees or not you are still going to do it, she will take that as offensive and go into defensive mode.
Here is what I talked to my wife about R/C / any hobby.
I enjoy (insert activity) and would like a little time out of each (week/month) to enjoy it. I am willing to complete all of your needs (as that is also commanded of use) We are to put our wives before ourselves.
Now making communicating this to my wife I got this response.
That is fine as you are full-filling your first ministry. (loving her)
It went into more detail but I worked out a schedule for us.
She has a Womens Bible study on Tuesday Nights and a track not too far has races on Tuesdays so I can race.
But since I also like to Race Touring Cars and its hard as they race mostly on Sundays with a few Saturdays thrown in...
Here is my example of how I made time for TC racing this weekend.
We are going to her parents house this weekend, (Saturday Birthday party/Sunday no plans) So I asked her if she wouldn't mind if I race while we are there after church. She said that is fine as she has some Birthday/Christmas gift shopping to do and she knows that I am not that patient in the stores as I am a man and don't understand looking through every product in a store mentality. But see that is where she said that she misses her mom so much and that the time I will race she and her mom can shop together and that makes her happy.
But here is where you need to know your wife and her needs.
When my wife feels that I am not being attentive to her needs she won't say a word but will get very quite, I now know this sign and make provisions that I turn my attention on her and put the R/C cars away for a little while...
Like right now I am going through Chemo Therapy and I have been having really good days and she understands because of out previous Chemo's that the good days will get less and less and I won't be able to R/C for a couple of months and that it is important to me, so she sacrifices some of the time she would rather spend one on one time for me. I know when she isn't 100% on board but she is sacrificing for me, and yes I let her as she also knows when I am not 100% and let her. We have what I would consider a Ideal marriage where we talk through everything...
I sold a whole bunch of my R/C's that I wasn't able to even work on less than run, so with the money I received I gave her half as she needs to get some new clothes as I ruined three shirts this past weekend when I did the laundry..LOL
She was like thats too much money to spend...I told her to use some on her and the rest on Birthday/Christmas gifts....She was so excited as she hates to be a poor steward of our finances...
Before we were married she dug a huge hole in debt...We made our way out of it and now have some savings and she learned her lesson.
There are two things that ruin a relationship faster than any other.
Communication (how and what) &
Finances.
You should discuss each purchase and pray over it...( I am referring to things that aren't normal expenses or EXTRA things)
We worked out a allowance for each other that full-fills her and my needs. If I want R/C stuff I have to save/sell, to get it.
She wants Scrap booking/decorating/shopping stuff she saves what she has and than prays over it. I don't second guess her, she doesn't second guess me. That is from communicating to each other.
Sorry if I rambled too much but there is allot to chew on in there.
We don't have a perfect marriage but like I said I feel it is Ideal and as long as we both have the other as I first priority we will always be trying to out bless the other...I love the out bless game...
I will send her some cute email message or bring her a juice smoothy (which she loves) to her work when I can..
She will come out of the back of the house when I am on the lap top and give me a peticure....Yea its MANLY to have nice feet...LOL
But you get the picture.
If you try to put her first she will try to put you first...
Hope that all made sence..As I think the MEDS are kicking in..LOL
-Shookie
Now I have to kind of get into my life a little to help you understand.
Please don't consider me a pig for what I am about to say..
Women are sensitive and take everything we say and do personally. At least from my life..
I was raised by a Gram ma, Mom and two older sisters since I was 11 (divorce)
But I learned that what we as men communicate can be less important than how. If you are trying to convey a message to your wife that you like something and no matter if she agrees or not you are still going to do it, she will take that as offensive and go into defensive mode.
Here is what I talked to my wife about R/C / any hobby.
I enjoy (insert activity) and would like a little time out of each (week/month) to enjoy it. I am willing to complete all of your needs (as that is also commanded of use) We are to put our wives before ourselves.
Now making communicating this to my wife I got this response.
That is fine as you are full-filling your first ministry. (loving her)
It went into more detail but I worked out a schedule for us.
She has a Womens Bible study on Tuesday Nights and a track not too far has races on Tuesdays so I can race.
But since I also like to Race Touring Cars and its hard as they race mostly on Sundays with a few Saturdays thrown in...
Here is my example of how I made time for TC racing this weekend.
We are going to her parents house this weekend, (Saturday Birthday party/Sunday no plans) So I asked her if she wouldn't mind if I race while we are there after church. She said that is fine as she has some Birthday/Christmas gift shopping to do and she knows that I am not that patient in the stores as I am a man and don't understand looking through every product in a store mentality. But see that is where she said that she misses her mom so much and that the time I will race she and her mom can shop together and that makes her happy.
But here is where you need to know your wife and her needs.
When my wife feels that I am not being attentive to her needs she won't say a word but will get very quite, I now know this sign and make provisions that I turn my attention on her and put the R/C cars away for a little while...
Like right now I am going through Chemo Therapy and I have been having really good days and she understands because of out previous Chemo's that the good days will get less and less and I won't be able to R/C for a couple of months and that it is important to me, so she sacrifices some of the time she would rather spend one on one time for me. I know when she isn't 100% on board but she is sacrificing for me, and yes I let her as she also knows when I am not 100% and let her. We have what I would consider a Ideal marriage where we talk through everything...
I sold a whole bunch of my R/C's that I wasn't able to even work on less than run, so with the money I received I gave her half as she needs to get some new clothes as I ruined three shirts this past weekend when I did the laundry..LOL
She was like thats too much money to spend...I told her to use some on her and the rest on Birthday/Christmas gifts....She was so excited as she hates to be a poor steward of our finances...
Before we were married she dug a huge hole in debt...We made our way out of it and now have some savings and she learned her lesson.
There are two things that ruin a relationship faster than any other.
Communication (how and what) &
Finances.
You should discuss each purchase and pray over it...( I am referring to things that aren't normal expenses or EXTRA things)
We worked out a allowance for each other that full-fills her and my needs. If I want R/C stuff I have to save/sell, to get it.
She wants Scrap booking/decorating/shopping stuff she saves what she has and than prays over it. I don't second guess her, she doesn't second guess me. That is from communicating to each other.
Sorry if I rambled too much but there is allot to chew on in there.
We don't have a perfect marriage but like I said I feel it is Ideal and as long as we both have the other as I first priority we will always be trying to out bless the other...I love the out bless game...
I will send her some cute email message or bring her a juice smoothy (which she loves) to her work when I can..
She will come out of the back of the house when I am on the lap top and give me a peticure....Yea its MANLY to have nice feet...LOL
But you get the picture.
If you try to put her first she will try to put you first...
Hope that all made sence..As I think the MEDS are kicking in..LOL
-Shookie
Last edited by Mr. Shookie; 09-29-2006 at 05:10 AM.
09-29-2006, 02:57 AM
#7
Tech Regular
Mmmmm.....wrong thread sorry guys.
10-04-2006, 02:05 PM
#8
My wife doesn't understand either. She likes to bash my RC18T around but doesn't understand why I like to race them. She sees me working way late at night on some of my cars and she asks why this is so. I tried to explain to her what RC was to me as a way to get away from what otherwise is a very stressful job. I'm on-call 24x7 and it's hard for me to get away. She loves to scrap book and I sometimes see her working on the weekends with her sister and mom for hours on end. I used that situation to explain to her that those days she does that and the feeling she get from being with her family and remebering to good times of vacations or parties is the same feeling that I get from RC'n. I'm trying to get my wife into racing Mini-Coopers and so far she LOVES it because she's racing against other women and we're together. I guess I'm lucky like that. I explained to her that since I retired from paintball that I needed something for my tinkering bone to work on. Real cars are too expensive for me, and I love cars and racing and this gives me the time to work on things and satisfy the engineer in me to work on some things that are so complex and interesting. Try to explain to her that you are in a hobby...it's not like you are playing Pokemon or something. And to be honest with you at least you're taking care of your family.
Peace
Peace
10-04-2006, 04:55 PM
#9
Tech Apprentice
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Tupperville, Ontario, CANADA - like tupperware but with a population of 450.
Posts: 59
Shookie. Well said. I am learning the things you are talking about. I have to admit, when I was first married (8 years ago) my first love was R/C ad it remained that way for a few years. See the problem? I've been in His grip for 5 years now. It's been real hard for me to cut back on my racing and focus on my wife. I used to race 2-3 times a week and hit as many big events as possible. Bill Gothard's Basic seminar had much to do with directing me to focus on my wife rather than R/C. God has to be the #1 focus, then your wife, then kids. The rest can line up after that. R/C didn't seem as important when I thought about my priorities in this manner.
Communication is very important. My wife will come with me to races and race just because she wants to be with me. If I weren't in her life, she wouldn't even know the meaning of R/C. As many of you have posted, my wife also now scraps. When I race, she scraps or goes to meetings and such. Come to think of it, she spends more time on scrap booking than I do on my cars. LOL! Money is VERY important to discuss. A wife has God given wisdom for finances that men rationally overlook. It is wise to ask your wife's thoughts on all business deals, purchases and savings. If she senses something is wrong, you had better heed her warning. If the husband is diligent with their money, his wife will also want to be diligent.
Bottom line, my wife is now priority over racing. Sometimes it's extremely hard to do but I know it is the way it must be done.
Communication is very important. My wife will come with me to races and race just because she wants to be with me. If I weren't in her life, she wouldn't even know the meaning of R/C. As many of you have posted, my wife also now scraps. When I race, she scraps or goes to meetings and such. Come to think of it, she spends more time on scrap booking than I do on my cars. LOL! Money is VERY important to discuss. A wife has God given wisdom for finances that men rationally overlook. It is wise to ask your wife's thoughts on all business deals, purchases and savings. If she senses something is wrong, you had better heed her warning. If the husband is diligent with their money, his wife will also want to be diligent.
Bottom line, my wife is now priority over racing. Sometimes it's extremely hard to do but I know it is the way it must be done.
08-12-2010, 04:04 AM
#10
Understanding wife here!
When I first entered the hobby my wife looked at it to be a bit silly. "Why would you pay $125 on a "toy" and another $100 in extra stuff" . But after a few months she went out and bought me a mini Revo VXL! 
I was SO happy. Now she is more understanding of my love for the hobby. She understands there not toys. She see's how much I love them and how they filled a void that was left in my life from a prior addiction to pescription narcotics. I acredit RC along with NA and God for saving my life and turning me around. She says nothing about the time and money spent on my RCs. She show no interest in them at all, but is fine with my interest in them.
I was SO happy. Now she is more understanding of my love for the hobby. She understands there not toys. She see's how much I love them and how they filled a void that was left in my life from a prior addiction to pescription narcotics. I acredit RC along with NA and God for saving my life and turning me around. She says nothing about the time and money spent on my RCs. She show no interest in them at all, but is fine with my interest in them.
08-25-2010, 07:03 PM
#11
Congratulations on kicking the habit. Scrip drugs are awful. I've been on 20mg of percocet for over 3 years now and will be the rest of my life from my military service. RC is an awesome outlet and while many (including myself at times) can get too into the hobby, it's still better and healthier than hitting that bottle, pipe, etc.
I read a lot about these wives who hate their husbands "toy cars" and it's sad. Glad you have someone who can respect your interests.
I read a lot about these wives who hate their husbands "toy cars" and it's sad. Glad you have someone who can respect your interests.
08-28-2010, 06:04 PM
#13
Tech Rookie
No mater what your beliefs, your wife come before all else. My wife is my entire world and I let here know that, in one way or another, every day. The reason I do this is because she understands what these kinds of hobbies are all about. She doesn't have any intrest in most of what I do but she supports me in everything I do. If she didn't have this quality, we wouldn't be together. She knows that there is worse stuff out there that I could be doing. I don't go to the bar or do drugs. When I take my truck to the truck pulls or to the drag strip she is there to cheer me on and take video. When it's broken and I am in the garage, she is there to lend a hand and ask questions. When I reload my own ammunition to go target shoot she is in the gun room watching and asking questions. When I build a rifle, she is in the shop with me asking questions about the lathe or just watching. She loves to ride with me on my ATV because it is tome we get to spend together. Tomorow is going to be nice out so I know we will be in our mustang driving to who knows where just because we can.
09-08-2010, 11:07 AM
#14
Tech Fanatic
iTrader: (13)
Congratulations on kicking the habit. Scrip drugs are awful. I've been on 20mg of percocet for over 3 years now and will be the rest of my life from my military service. RC is an awesome outlet and while many (including myself at times) can get too into the hobby, it's still better and healthier than hitting that bottle, pipe, etc.
I read a lot about these wives who hate their husbands "toy cars" and it's sad. Glad you have someone who can respect your interests.
I read a lot about these wives who hate their husbands "toy cars" and it's sad. Glad you have someone who can respect your interests.
Bummer dude. Through many years of counseling i will take a guess that the R/C stuff isn't the REAL issue, its a symptom. Its the reason she uses to get mad.
Have you ever read the 5 love languages book? do you know what makes her feel "loved"? Some like quality time, some are physical, some like gifts, some like a combination of things.
Talk to her and ask her if she feels like her love tank is full? Sounds corny i know, but she will totally appreciate it!
If not ask her what you can do to help that. If she doesn't know, then she has to learn before she can tell you. Make sure you get into Premarital counseling. Find a good program, many are free!
You will learn so much about each other that you wouldn't normally learn! 
My wife likes the physical touch and quality time. Many women are quality time oriented. The gentleman below has a wife who is about quality time. Lets move down there for more of my story.
No mater what your beliefs, your wife come before all else. My wife is my entire world and I let here know that, in one way or another, every day. The reason I do this is because she understands what these kinds of hobbies are all about. She doesn't have any intrest in most of what I do but she supports me in everything I do. If she didn't have this quality, we wouldn't be together. She knows that there is worse stuff out there that I could be doing. I don't go to the bar or do drugs. When I take my truck to the truck pulls or to the drag strip she is there to cheer me on and take video. When it's broken and I am in the garage, she is there to lend a hand and ask questions. When I reload my own ammunition to go target shoot she is in the gun room watching and asking questions. When I build a rifle, she is in the shop with me asking questions about the lathe or just watching. She loves to ride with me on my ATV because it is tome we get to spend together. Tomorow is going to be nice out so I know we will be in our mustang driving to who knows where just because we can.
I recently got married, May 2010, and at first she didn't understand R/C at all. We had several deep conversations about me racing. The issue wasn't really the money(although I do have a budget), it was the time away from the family. She likes to spend every moment with me. I appreciate that as i love my wife and family.
So what do i do? It took me time/couples counseling and several conversations to get her to understand why i wanted to race R/C cars.
At first we had it scheduled for 2 days out of the month. She didn't want me to race on Sundays because of church so there were 4 saturdays to choose from. She is a planner, i am not.
I had to start being a planner to get on the schedule before it filled up. Then suddenly we were having to skip things she wanted to do as a family on saturdays because of racing. I suggested that i have the chance to race on Sundays after church. She agreed and that opened the schedule and gave more flexibility and then we could do more family things on saturday. COMPROMISE.
Then We had a unique situation happen this past weekend and i had to defend her and stand up for her as her husband. (not physically but emotionally) She was very emotional but really appreciated that i fought for her (Women want to be fought for) and because she felt so loved she actually suggested i go race sunday as a reward!
(this wasn't planned)i then returned the favor and said, why don't you go with me to race(quality time). You can race my SCT. She was surprised i asked her to come. She came and raced for the first time ever(and read a book). She had never driven an RC so as you can imagine it was a rough outing for my truck LOL. She loved it and had fun and really appreciated me yelling encouragement to her on the drivers stand in front of all the other people there.
Now she has a totally different attitude towards R/C. She met some of the nice people there and connected. She saw how much i loved racing. She saw how much the cars played to my spacial strengths, now she is "on board" with the racing program.
In addition she saw how hard it was and how practice was important (she is competitive like me) and agreed to let me to practice on Wed nights to up my game!
SWEET!
09-12-2010, 07:55 PM
#15
Tech Master
iTrader: (201)
Jeff,
Awesome post bud! I'm glad that you had the opportunity to take your wife to the track. My wife works every weekend so I take my three kids ages 6, 3, and 4 months with me. My son races (age 6) and my friends help when my heats are up My wife knows how important rc has become for us and loves to hear how we do at the track. Our goal is to get her off weekend work so we can enjoy this hobby as a family. I'm hoping to invite her up to Tuesday night practice at our indoor track this year (borrowing your idea!)
I wanted to back you up on the 5 love languages book. I believe its a must read for all couples. My wife is quality time and acts of service.
Carey
Awesome post bud! I'm glad that you had the opportunity to take your wife to the track. My wife works every weekend so I take my three kids ages 6, 3, and 4 months with me. My son races (age 6) and my friends help when my heats are up
My wife knows how important rc has become for us and loves to hear how we do at the track. Our goal is to get her off weekend work so we can enjoy this hobby as a family. I'm hoping to invite her up to Tuesday night practice at our indoor track this year (borrowing your idea!)I wanted to back you up on the 5 love languages book. I believe its a must read for all couples. My wife is quality time and acts of service.
Carey