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Old 01-02-2009, 08:17 AM   #1
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Default JConcepts Truggy Tire Giveaway!



www.jconcepts.net

To kick of 2009 right we're doing a giveaway here on rctech. All you have to do is post something amusing(positive) and 1 winner will recieve a set of our NEW 1/8th Truck Cross Hairs AND wheels. We will then randomly select a winner in 2 weeks time and send it over, so post up!

1 set Rulux Half-Ups wheels in either offset (yellow or white)
AND
2 x 3025-01 Blue Cross Hairs
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Old 01-02-2009, 08:48 AM   #2
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Marital Humor

Wife: 'What are you doing?'

Husband: 'Nothing'.

Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage
certificate for over an hour!!'

Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.'

-------------------------------

Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'

Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'

Wife: 'Yes or no.'
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Old 01-02-2009, 09:01 AM   #3
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One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2
1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up. Then she says, (as only a mother would know... 'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?'
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Old 01-02-2009, 09:05 AM   #4
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The Italian Who Went To Malta


One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna to piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.

Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch.

So I go back to my room ina hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. Call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit on my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch.

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you". I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italy.
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Old 01-02-2009, 09:12 AM   #5
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Husband and wife laying in bedand the husband gets in the mood so he rolls over and starts rubbing his wifes back and she rolls over and says sorry a I have a gyno appointment in the morning and rolls back over. The husband disappointed lays there for a few rolls back over and starts to rub his wifes back again and when she rolls over he says, you don't have a dentist appointment tomorrow do you?
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Old 01-02-2009, 09:17 AM   #6
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I went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one.

You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented "You're definitely going to $h!t yourself" chili.

Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat it, the next day both of your ***** cheeks WILL fall off.

Here's the thing.

I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened.

No "10-200"!

Despite habanero peppers swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I appeared to be unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my next door neighbors as "thunder and lightning".


Knowing that a time of reckoning had to come, yet not sure of just when, I bravely set off for the market; the local Safeway grocery store that I often haunt in search of tasty tidbits.

Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase.

It wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that the pain hit me.

Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about.

I'm referring to that "Uh oh, gotta go" pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time.

The thing is, this pain was different.

The habaneros in the chili from the night before were staging a revolt.

In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the restrooms which would bring sweet relief, it happened.
The peppers fired a warning shot.


There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly enveloped in a noxious cloud, the likes of which has never before been recorded.

I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me.

Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as an elderly woman turned into it.

I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate, as she walked into it unsuspecting.

Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate.

I could've warned that poor woman but didn't.

I simply watched as she walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor so terrible that all she could do before gathering her senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving her arms about her head as though trying to ward off angry bees.

This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. BIG mistake!

Here's the thing.

When you laugh, it's hard to keep things "clamped down", if you know what I mean.

With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region.

Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.

Suddenly things were no longer funny.

IT was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand mal a$$plosion took place.

Luck was on my side.

Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable "Oh my God", floating above the toilet seat because my *** is burning SO BAD, purging.


One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of "Shock and Awe".
He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, "Sumbeach!", then quickly left.

Once finished I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, "Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem."


That of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me.


The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, "IT'S YOU!", then ran off returning moments later with the manager.

I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return.

Home again without having shopped, I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chili, so I consumed two more bowls.

The next day I went to shop at Albertson's.

I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter.

They claim they're going to have to repaint the store…
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Old 01-02-2009, 11:20 AM   #7
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www.youtube.com/watch?v=itPYnuQ5X2Q

need I say more. I know Maifield can drive a dump truck but you still have to have good tires. This was a blue groove race and his tires looked great after qualifing.
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Old 01-02-2009, 11:21 AM   #8
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For spring i want some jconcept tires to go with with my bodys and wing!!!
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Old 01-02-2009, 11:30 AM   #9
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go this in an e-mail the other day...found it amusing.

BEST QUOTE OF 2008...BRAVO FOR SHERIFF JUDD!!!
Gotta admire the man for being honest.

Florida 's got it right. Bravo for Sheriff Judd !!!
POLK COUNTY FLORIDA SHERIFF GRADY JUDD

Some 'dirtbag' in Polk County Florida who got pulled over in a routine traffic stop ended up 'executing' the deputy who stopped him. The deputy was shot eight times, including once behind his right ear at close range. Another deputy was wounded and a police dog killed. A state wide manhunt ensued.

The low-life was found hiding in a wooded area with his gun. SWAT team officers fired and hit the guy 68 times.

Now here's the kicker:

Naturally, the media asked why they shot him 68 times. Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd, told the Orlando Sentinel: 'That's all the bullets we had !!' (Talk about an all-time classic answer !!!)

Justice Served. Bullets are much cheaper than 40 years of meals, cable and civil rights

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Old 01-02-2009, 11:33 AM   #10
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“I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed
it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that,
since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much
fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up
and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4
feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and
toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport
it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The
cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were
not having any of it.

After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked
out....a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and
threw..my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped
the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good
hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it
was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step
towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and
then received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand
there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action
when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT
stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I
could fight down with a rope and with some dignity.

A deer-- no chance.

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no
controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off
my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me
that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had
originally imagined.

The only up side is that they do not have as much stamina as many other
animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick
to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me
a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood
flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my
taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off
the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it
would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no
love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing,
and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had
cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various
large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think
clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared
some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I
didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get
it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I
had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute.

I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope
back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would
have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised
when...

I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my
wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse
where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes
its head --almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and
draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was
ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several
minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.

I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim
by now), tricked it.

While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached
up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my
final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on
their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and
their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that,
when an animal --like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you
can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise
and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause
them to back down a bit so you can escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would
not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different
strategy.

I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a
horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit
you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses
after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because
the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and
knocked me down,

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not
immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has
passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on
you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering
your head. I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went
away.

So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a
scope to sort of even the odds.

All these events are true so help me God..
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Old 01-02-2009, 11:55 AM   #11
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Im not aloud to drive my r/c car out in the street because thier is chance of a runaway, but who cares because then I can get a new one!!!!!
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Old 01-02-2009, 12:05 PM   #12
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New Illinois state slogan!

"Welcome to Illinois where our Govenors make our license plates"
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Old 01-02-2009, 12:08 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jamminnay View Post
New Illinois state slogan!

"Welcome to Illinois where our Govenors make our license plates"
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Old 01-02-2009, 12:33 PM   #14
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Here's something that you might find amusing..Me "trying to balance my pro line tires for 4 hours..they only sorta of wobble now....
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Old 01-02-2009, 12:49 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oasis View Post
Here's something that you might find amusing..Me "trying to balance my pro line tires for 4 hours..they only sorta of wobble now....



hahahaha...SOoooo true.
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