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Old 01-13-2009, 06:45 AM   #46
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Freekin Hilarious fast11970
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Old 01-13-2009, 07:48 AM   #47
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Have you ever been confussed about what camber changes do?

Well think of camber link setup like Sex

When it's short it's soft.
When it's long it's hard
and it's always better in the A-Hole

This may not win but no one will ever forget what camber links do.

Thank You J-Concepts
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Old 01-13-2009, 05:08 PM   #48
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DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted part which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, ''What the...??''

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age.

SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of
blood blisters.

BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

WELDING GLOVES: Heavy duty leather gloves used to prolong the conduction of intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub you want the bearing race out of.

TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

EIGHT-FOOT LONG YELLOW PINE 2X4: Used for levering an automobile upward off of a trapped hydraulic jack handle.

E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool ten times harder than any known drill bit that snaps neatly off in bolt holes thereby ending any possible future use.

BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 24-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A very large pry bar that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end opposite the handle.

AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids and for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive part s adjacent the object we are trying to hit.

MECHANIC''S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while wearing them.

DAMMIT TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling ''DAMMIT'' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.
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Old 01-13-2009, 05:31 PM   #49
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not sure how it would run with the same tires and wheels all the way around on it!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 01-14-2009, 08:21 AM   #50
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Two days left!
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Old 01-14-2009, 09:30 AM   #51
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Bob works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Bob! How ya doin?'
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. 'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling league.

When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?'

'I recognize her; she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.'

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says, 'Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?'

Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book.

The cabby turns around and says, 'Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time.'

Bob's funeral will be on Friday.
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Old 01-14-2009, 10:01 AM   #52
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Mostly true story on rc

I was at my local track in Lincoln a couple years. I'd been only racing for about 3 1/2 years now and decided to jump into the buggy foray. Got me a hyper 7 pcr. Nice buggy, but you got to know how to drive it and since I only ran 2wd Nitro oval I was having heck of a time with racing. I hit everything but the pace lets just say.

I'd been racing there for a couple of years and became good friends with a lot of the racers. Well "Bob" decided on one night of racing to bring a photographer buddy with him and lets call him "photo dude."

Well that night I was having one of those spells on this one double jump all night long. I would either veer left or right all the time and ending have to being marshalled.

Then during the main race where I had some of my buddies marshalling including Mike that race and one of them in the pits named Darrell the photo dude decided to get close to the double jump and my friend Mike was marshalling that same spot.

About half way through the race I'm still struggling with that darn jump and right before I was about to jump that very same jump the photo dude decided to help pick up a buggy to get it marshalled and well here I come a barrelling to the jump veered dead right and as photo dude was grabbing the buggy and camera in the other, was the target set in my scope and like precision clock work I nailed him dead on into balls with an amazing thud.

My face was wide open and the photo dude by just pure reflex put the buggy back on the track. By now he was stumbling and bumbling to one of the lights with a semi truck tire base managed to flop down on it before with his face beat red huffing and puffing for air. Mike is looking at him trying to offer assistance and at the same trying to marshal looks around and points at me laughing and shaking his head. I'm now beat red trying not to laugh, but I'm snickering and laughing while the rest of the drivers are starting to chuckle. I have a hat on so I tilt the brim down trying to be incognito, with my head down trying to drive like a druken sailor, and Darrell in the pits sees the comotion and that photo slumped over flopping like a fish looking for a brook, and Darrell looking for answers looking at Mike and up at the driver's stand trying to figure out what the heck is going on and sees me hunch laughing and trying to drive.

After the race the photo dude now semi concscious was able to laugh it off and I apologized, but for a month I was given crap and call everything dead eye to nutcrusher and had the marshalls holding there jewels everytime I got to the jump.
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Old 01-14-2009, 07:31 PM   #53
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I say Photo dude deserves the tires or at least a lifetime supply of ice bags
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Old 01-15-2009, 12:13 PM   #54
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Did you hear about the one armed fisherman?



(Holding one arm up) He caught a fish this big!
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Old 01-15-2009, 12:22 PM   #55
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Dad has beater car since college and now with 2 kids is buying a minivan. Youngest child being very sensitive asks Dad what happened to his car the only car his son has ever know him to drive. Dad not being very sensitive says the car went to heaven. Youngest son on an errand with Mom in the new minivan goes into a back alley parking lot to park upon seeing Dadís old beater looks up toward the sky with palms upturned and promptly asks Mom if he is in heaven. (True Story!)
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Old 01-15-2009, 12:39 PM   #56
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Jconcepts. The only bodies and Rims that i use for any truggy.

as for funny

http://www.failblog.org/

I dont think its possible to look though that site and not see something funny.
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Old 01-15-2009, 12:45 PM   #57
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The WINNER will be announced later today!
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Old 01-15-2009, 12:57 PM   #58
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AndyMoore View Post
The WINNER will be announced later today!


awesome possum
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Old 01-15-2009, 01:00 PM   #59
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What does a woman and a Hurricane have in common. Think hard??

Answer is: They both come in hot and steaming and they both take everything once they are done!!!!!!!
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Old 01-15-2009, 02:13 PM   #60
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And the WINNER is...

Mack Mechanic!
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