R/C Men of Genius - The Definitive Collection, Volume 1
 

As requested, here are all the R/C Men of Genius commercials as of July 30.

Bud Light presents, R/C Men of Genius

…R/C men of genius…

Today we salute you, Mr. A-Main Car Setter Downer

…Mr. A-Main Car Setter Downer…

In a world of truing tires and cutting comms, you’re all about setting a car down.

…Flip that switch!...

Sure, anyone can take a car apart and put it back together again, but not just anyone can place it on the ground.

…you’ve got it in you…

Squat, wipe, scrub, repeat. Precision timing. One foot off, and you’ve got dirty foams and a potential loose condition.

…Get me a towel!...

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. A-Main Car Setter Downer, because as far as we’re concerned, you’re just not IN the show, you ARE the show.

…Mr. A-Main Car Setter Downer…

Bud Light Presents: R/C Men of Genius

…R/C Men of Genius…

Today we salute you, Mr. Overzealous Turn Marshal Guy.

…Mr. Overzealous Turn Marshal Guy!...

Without your undying commitment, we might find ourselves stuck against a board armed only with our transmitter.

…Oh, I need you now!...

Like a brave soldier, you storm hostile territory to rescue one of your friends in need.

…Other side of the board, please!...

Can you leap over that oncoming traffic? Of course you can. How about setting the grid? No problem.

…Look at him go, now!...

While others rest, you can’t. Because there’s a first-turn pile-up with your name on it, and juiced-up racers hungry for a trophy.

…I won the D-Main!...

So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light ol’ Captain of Carnage, because if you don’t do your job, you’ll lose a lap off your best qualifier.

…Mr. Overzealous Turn Marshal Guy…

Bud Light Presents: R/C Men of Genius

…R/C Men of Genius…

Today we salute you, Mr. Stock Racing Motor Tuner

…Mr. Stock Racing Motor Tuner!...

Real men just don’t race remote-controlled cars, real men cut comms and brushes in the pits, tucked safely away from the action.

…Don’t peel me now!...

Third A-Main, the championship is on the line, it all comes down to you. Will you call for F brushes or E brushes?

…Pour on the Tribo!...

Red springs? Green springs? Purple springs? Black springs?

…Who’s got my fiddlestick?...

Break it in at the specified voltage for 2 minutes. No more. No less. Anything else, and you’ve got a boat anchor on your hands.

…Fire up the dyno!...

So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light ol’ Baron of the Bushing Reamer. You may never win an A-Main, but you’re fast. And that’s gotta count for something.

…Mr. Stock Racing Motor Tuner…

Bud Light Presents: R/C Men of Genius

…R/C Men of Genius…

Today we salute you, Mr. Custom Lexan Body Painter.

…Mr. Custom Lexan Body Painter!...

Michelangelo had the Sistine Chapel, da Vinci had his Mona Lisa, and you…you've got a Parma Mohawk.

…Lovin’ those sweet lines!...

Armed with an airbrush, 63 bottles of Faskolor, and a whole lot of liquid mask, you work your magic.

…Abracadabra!...

Most painters worry about the subtle play of light and shadow, you just worry about making sick looking headlights.

…Who needs those decals!?...

So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light ol’ Provider of the Paintjob, because when it comes to flames and racing stripes, Van Gogh has nothing on you.

…Mr. Custom Lexan Car Body Painter…

Bud Light Presents: R/C Men of Genius

…R/C Men of Genius…

Today we salute you, Mr. Christopher D. Goetz

…Mr. Christopher D. Goetz!...

During high pressure racing situations, one man will rise to the top. But another man will fail, and achieve fame not unlike the doomed ski jumper on Wide World of Sports.

…The agony of defeat!...

Anybody can TQ a national event. It takes special talent to blow-out and throw away any chance of victory in the first turn.

…My car is tweaked, now!...

Second place? Child’s play. Third place? Don’t be silly. You’re not satisfied until you’re in the group photo rockin’ the ninth place plaque.

…Reach for the stars!...

Meticulous set-up skills…check. Uncanny driving ability…check. Unbridled passion…check. But not even Sigmund Freud himself can hypothesize the chemical imbalance keeping you from the top podium step.

…Let’s discuss my childhood!...

So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light ol’ Dean of the Dude Sandwich. When it comes to failure, you leave the rest of us racing for 10th.

…Mr. Christopher D. Goetz…

Bud Light Presents R/C Men of Genius

…R/C Men of Genius…

Today we salute you Mr. Giant Hauler Bag Inventor.

…Mr. Giant Hauler Bag Inventor…

Because of you, we will never find ourselves at a race without our bench-top drill press....again.

…Got everything I need…

What's all that crap stuffed in my own personal freighter? It's my car, and my radio, and my chargers, and my power supply, and my soldering iron, and my pit light…

…Still have more room, yeah!…

and my comm lathe, and my tire truer, and my airbrush, and my motor zapper, and my kitchen sink, and my wife.

…Can I use your tweak board?...

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light ‘ol King of the Carry-All…because when it comes to transporting our racing equipment, size really does matter.

…Mr. Giant Hauler Bag Inventor…

Bud Light Presents R/C Men of Genius

…R/C Men of Genius…

Today, we salute you, Mr. Smelly Traction Compound Inventor

…Mr. Smelly Traction Compound Inventor…

Like a searchlight, your tire sauce guides racers to the track….four miles before they get there.

…I think we found it…

Headaches? Nausea? Bloody, oily discharge? All acceptable side-effects when it comes to the quest for traction.

…Pour it on now….

Overslept and haven't got time to shower? Not to worry, you've got an 8 ounce can of Paragon, and a comb.

…Drives the ladies crazy….

So, crack open an ice cold Bud Light ol Magnate of the Methylsilicate, because we think we smell a winner.

…Mr. Smelly Traction Compound Inventor…

Things must be slow up north today?

I must have missed a couple of those...

The Chris Goetz one is the classic. Maybe I should just keep quiet....:eek:

should this be stickied?

Sticky only if you're a discerning connoisseur of the finest R/C literary genius to hit this year. We don't need bourgeois tastes around here.

Literary critics and consumers abroad have been quoted as saying:

"Lol" -Anonymous

"Genuis" -Ayn Rand

"I'm doubly excited now, and it shows..." -Christopher Goetz

"Foamy DEFINTELY plays this" -Robbie Dodge

"I wish I was around to read this. Funny @$%&!" -Joseph Pulitzer

"And so it went: one more depraved day in the world of Guns n' Roses. Before they had even finished their first album, the lives of the five band members had become a dark cartoon of indiscriminate sex, property damage, booze and hard drugs." -Rolling Stone Magazine issue 1032

Those are great - the music comes up right on cue every time I read one!

Forgive me for not knowing (I live in the UK now), but what race did Goetz...errr...get famous for?

For Goetz it's less about a race, and more about a "Lifestyle" ;)

Sang to the Drew Carey intro......


Moon over Parma...
Shine the light on me tonight
Get me to Cleveland....
With a case of Bud Light
RC is better than bowlin'
so don't leave me in Solon
The Gate is the place to be at
tonight.........